


Unbreakable

by skyrhapsody



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, all in all i just want to say hide is a wonderful person, and lets ignore tg:re altogether bc idk what happened w hide there yet, one sided hide/kaneki i guess, posting this old work for a friend lol, this is hide's pov of the scene in the drain in tg, with additional scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 03:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12521804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyrhapsody/pseuds/skyrhapsody
Summary: In which Kaneki never breaks, but Hide wishes he will.





	Unbreakable

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old work before tg:re even started. i posted this on my tumblr for my friend, but i'm quite satisfied with the angst here so i decided to post it here lol

Nagachika Hideyoshi thinks Kaneki Ken is the epitome of an impenetrable iron will. He may look weak on the exterior, but once he decides on something he will go through with it, even if there will be unpleasant things happened in the process or even if he has to sacrifice one or two of his limbs. Hide despises that, because despite of his iron will Kaneki Ken possesses an extremely self-sacrificing personality as well and combined with it, he will self-destruct at the end.

And Hide doesn’t want to be the one who picks up the broken fragments that is once Kaneki Ken, because even if Hide can glue them again, pieces by pieces, one by one, it will never be the same.

He just wishes he is not late.

\--

Kaneki was the shyest person he ever met (and Hide met a lot of people) and an introvert, preferring to go to this café called Anteiku to read books instead of socializing like most of university students do. He did not like to talk about himself, so Hide usually took over and blabbered whatever come into his mind because he was good at it and Kaneki would listen and comment sometimes, and Hide found the companionship assuring and welcomed. Of course, he wished Kaneki would open up more, although he already mastered Kaneki’s every expression and gesture so reading him come naturally like he had done it in all of his life.

When Kaneki found a crush in the form of a purple-haired lady, he was sincerely happy. During the first impression, Kamishiro Rize seemed like a kind lady who would be able to match his best friend’s pace and interest and they would date and Kaneki would have another person who cared for him.

(He was wrong.)

Kaneki disappeared for days after their supposed date, and when he returned to the campus with eyepatch on his left eye and the awkwardness surrounding, Hide was taken aback instead of congratulating him for his recovery for the accident.

(He covered it quickly enough for Kaneki to discover that he suspected something was wrong, though.)

This Kaneki… was strange. He was still awkward like the usual Kaneki, but now in addition he looked jittery and… withdrawn. As if he had some major life changes moment and he could not do anything about it.

The old Kaneki did not bump into people and twitch,

The old one did not get nervous when he was surrounded by people,

And the old one certainly didn’t flinch when Hide touched him.

(But then he blacked out and he overheard this Kaneki’s conversation and he felt like crying.)

\--

For several weeks, Hide borrowed all books about ghouls he could find at the local library near his house. This Kaneki could no longer eat human food; he had to eat humans instead, his pupils would turn red with the sclera turned black and he had a kagune; the ghouls’ predatory weapons.

And despite all of this, this Kaneki still smiled every day; each day his smile turned less restrained and more carefree. He also worked at Anteiku too, working part time at the waiter there.

(And Hide thought, he was so strong. He always had.)

Ghoul Kaneki’s differences with the human one were subtle, but were still visible. For instance, when they are out together, this Kaneki chewed on the food slower and he gulped them down like it was lead or something sickening. He sometimes had this bloodlust expression, which only lasted for few seconds, when they walked into a crowded place.

(Hide stopped bringing this Kaneki to this kind of place, and his subtle relieved expression made Hide think that he was probably a bit mean for intentionally bringing him to test whether he was a ghoul or not.)

\--

When this Kaneki was kidnapped by a bulky ghoul and his companions, Hide ran rampant. 

(“Oh no, he can’t die until he has spilled everything to me!”)

Only this Kaneki didn’t return to the 20th ward. He was gone, to god knows where, leaving the rest of the café to be surrounded with misery and sadness. He didn’t go to the university either. It almost like he had turned into a ghost; he still existED but at the same, he didn’t. 

(And thus, ceased Hide’s visit to the café. But that didn’t mean he has given up.)

\--

Kaneki’s hair was white when he found them again. He met Touka-chan, one of the waitresses at Anteiku and one of those who still seemed to remember Kaneki. They fought for a while; Touka-chan saying things she didn’t really mean and Kaneki accepted it like the man he was.

The breaking point was when Touka-chan declared that Kaneki should stay away from him, and Kaneki’s face changed slightly at the words, yet he remained silent and took all the punches, using the strongest wall he could manage to block out the pain that the words brought.

(And yet Hide could still see how his expression got more… tired. Withdrawn.)

(So he showed up, ascending into the bridge and greeting that Kaneki with a cheerful face he could muster.)

That Kaneki was obviously shocked when he told him he had known. He tried to thwart him away, saying that he got the wrong person, that he wasn’t Kaneki Ken Hide was searching for.

(Of course he wasn’t. Kaneki probably was already dead inside of white-haired Kaneki, but it didn’t mean that he has to stay away from the new Kaneki.)

That Kaneki seemed hurt when he asked if they were still best friend and if Kaneki ever trusted Hide with all of his life. 

(Because Hide did, once upon a time. Only that Hide’s trust of Kaneki was like an thick iron wall; and in contrast, Kaneki’s trust of Hide was probably a paper-thin.)

That Kaneki couldn’t answer when he asked, although his expression indicated he wanted to say more. Heart-to-heart talk maybe? 

(But Hide had enough. So he walked away, not bothering to even pick up the broken fragments, and swearing that he would leave from Kaneki Ken’s life.)

\--

Only he does return for him at the Anteiku raid, searching for that idiot in the midst of the battle.

(Hide could have lived a normal life after he detached himself from Kaneki Ken. But he cannot, pathetically.)

That Kaneki is found in the drain; it seems he is having an internal battle, one that full of pain and sorrow than anyone can ever comprehend. 

(“You won’t need it anymore. The mask.” Hide says, trying to say his words with utmost care.)

That Kaneki recognizes him, his voice, although he thinks he is only an illusion.

(“I already knew, man.” Hide has said that again, like what he said on the bridge, “Who cares about that, let’s just go home already.”)

That Kaneki gives him a look of shock, a look of recognition, like it is the first time he sees that Hide wants to understand. Kaneki realizes that Hide won’t judge him and will accept him, that their friendship is never an act and Hide’s trust to Kaneki is—

Unbreakable.

(Kaneki trusts him; Hide has broken that wall by himself. He should be proud of himself, if only he has time.)

(Hide grins widely.

Live, Kaneki.)

(A distant memory of him calling a boy walking alone shyly comes to Hide’s memory, where it blurs his eyes with tears.)

END

**Author's Note:**

> the morale of this story is to trust your friend because they sometimes can help you. even if they only manage to listen to your problems, it lifts some of your burden ;w;


End file.
